The Tears I Shed After PM10’s Appointment – A Concerned Nationalist

I cried over the pain and suffering during the Covid-19 pandemic. Today may not undo what already happened, but it gives me renewed hope that we will head to a better Malaysia tomorrow.

Like many other Malaysians, I witnessed the Istana Negara’s announcement that Anwar Ibrahim has been appointed as Malaysia’s tenth Prime Minister. My knees hit the ground. 

Tears flowed out uncontrollably from my eyes. I wept. It could have been five or 10 or 15 or even 20 minutes that I was in that state, crouched like a tiger. 

The tears I held since February 24, 2020 finally flowed uncontrollably. The tears were for:

  1. For all the families that had to see their loved ones infected with Covid-19 unnecessarily; 
  2. For the people who lost family members due to Covid-19 (either by being infected or because of waiting time/ resource issues due to other matters). Some of them who lost their lives were close friends. I hope that those accountable will have answers;
  3. For those families who had to hang white flags outside their windows hoping that good Samaritans will come to their rescue. Also, for the families who had to brave the floods, fight the waters, and pray for no rain so that they can vote and continue their day-to-day livelihood means; 
  4. For the sleepless nights I had, thinking about the Covid-19 pandemic mitigation, and if there was something within the statistics that I could share to help with the situation;
  5. For the numerous warning letters, calls, and threats that I received from higher-ups for pursuing my analysis on Covid-19. The pain I went through never showed until today;
  6. For seeing the true colours of many leaders in the civil service – some of them with their greed to be promoted, some with their intention to stay on and show that Malaysia managed the pandemic well;
  7. For seeing so many of the early Covid-19 pandemic mitigation, prevention, treatment options being reviewed or researched and shared with those higher-ups, but to only hear that this resulted in me getting into trouble or having the literature I gathered being thrown into the wastepaper basket by the authorities;
  8. For people who could have gotten the vaccine earlier and prevented unnecessary Covid-19 deaths;
  9. For those who lost spouses or children, family ties and partners due to the pandemic, after being away for so long and being disconnected with them;
  10. Last but not least – for God – being ever so patient with me, hearing my cries or pleas for the nation as we struggled, and especially for introducing me to good people who helped me during the times where I was pursued for doing the right thing.
People are busy looking at their mobile phones during the 6th Health Economics Forum 2022 in Petaling Jaya, Selangor, when Anwar Ibrahim was announced as Malaysia’s 10th Prime Minister on November 24, 2022. Picture by Saw Siow Feng.

I am happy that it might all come to an end today. It might not undo what has already happened, but it gives me renewed hope that we will head into a better Malaysia tomorrow. 

The issue of the government has been solved. It is time that we sort the civil service out. The civil servants must do their best – give their all and to ensure they continue to serve the people without allowing corruption to creep in and to put self-interest aside if the crossroads happen to meet.  

Salam semua, and this will be my last letter as an anonymous person. Hopefully this new government will give all of us (especially professionals) the space to voice our professional opinions, especially data and statistics to help with the mitigation of any health care issue. 

A concerned nationalist signing off. 

CodeBlue is publishing this letter anonymously because civil servants are prohibited from writing to the press without prior authorisation.

  • This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of CodeBlue.

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